That Earnest MLM Guy You Meet At Every Starbucks
Last week, I was at Starbucks, doing some marketing work. This was apparent to all who could view my laptop by the big 72 point-type “Marketing” headline that I was working on in my browser.
A man sharing a table, with no apparent laptop of his own, was taking interest in what I was doing. He was mid-40s and he was ambiently stalking and sizing everyone around him up. He was swallowing and always “about to talk.”
Finally, after I looked up to collect my thoughts, he broke my reverie.
“Are you in marketing?”
See, our man (Justin was his name) had just stated a business, an e-commerce business. He was vague on his details.
I knew where this was going. We all know.
Anyone that’s ever worked from a Starbucks has met Justin.
Justin mentioned a couple of his relatives, also with businesses. And, without asking what type of clients I serve, told me that they’d be a great fit for me. He’d love to introduce me, if we could just exchange contact info.
I knew exactly what he was doing. As God as my witness, I knew the only place where this interaction would possibly go. I wasn’t, not for a minute, fooled by the promise of referrals that would never happen.
Of course, I give it to him, not because I think there’s any hope that this will work out. But because I want to know. We exchange texts, and I save his contact info.
He excuses himself and gets into his 2002 rusty Kia, and drives off.
The next day, I get a call with the ID: MLM GUY STARBUCKS 2019.
“Chris, we met at Starbucks,” he says, “This is Justin. And I was wondering if you were open to financial opportunities for your family.”
Well, knock me over with a feather. This was such a surprise.
Without a plan in my head, I said “Justin, are you in the Amway organization? Because if so, I have been waiting for your call.”
Justin confirmed that yes, he was in Amway. And he was really glad!
“Justin, I’ve got some great news for YOU, would you like to hear about it?”
“Sure,” he goes.
“OK, well, you have to be open — and committed — to improving your relationship with Amway. Is that something you’re open to right now?”
“Yes,” he said, “Definitely.”
“Great. So let me tell you about what I do with the Amway people I meet. See, I’ve made a really profitable career out of helping them, and it’s turned into the focus of my life.” This is, of course, a lie, but we were even because Justin got my phone number on the pretext of referring me business.
“OK, so the deal is this. One of the problems with Amway is that it turns you into someone hat has to monetize all of your family and friends. And when that happens, you become less about the relationship, and more about the money. Has that happened to you?”
“Yes. Yes it has.” Justin admits.
“Yes, great, this is what we’re hearing.”
The words tumbled out of my mouth: “See all over America there are Amway distributors, just like you. They are chained to various Starbuckses. This is the old model, there’s simply no freedom.
They have to fight tooth and nail to get appointments and most of ’em don’t go anywhere. For most of the Amway owners, this isn’t working once they pitch all their friends and all their family, there’s nothing left.
So I’ve created an organization called Amway Freedom. All you have to do is sign up. By signing up, you agree to automatically pay $5.00 per month to me, to be free of Amway. Just being free of Amway saves most distributors hundreds.
But the REALLY good news is that you can sign OTHER people up, and keep half of the money for your family and your freedom. And when they sign up, half goes to support the reps, and the other half goes to support your opportunity!
From what I hear, over 1.5 million Americans signed up for Amway at some point. Tell me, Justin, if you got just 1% of that market — 15,000 people to pay you $5.00 a month without you having to do anything, would that change your life?
Would $75,000 per month change your life.”
Justin said “Um, well, this isn’t really what I was think….”
“Look Justin, this isn’t for everyone. I know that. Most people won’t be able to take advantage of this opportunity. They only think of the problems. They can’t imagine how this could work, a business with no merchandise and freedom.
But, Justin, you’re helping people get free of the endless random meetings …the Starbucks bills…the gas expenses. You’re turning your story of struggle into a story of success. Are you ready, Justin?”
This is my business,” I said, “And this is what I want for you, Justin. Are you ready to join your challenge and fight for the freedom of 1.5 million people that have Tried Amway?”
“Um…” Justin said. “I just don’t.”
“I see. This might not be working for you, Justin, and that’s 100% OK. Take all the time you need. But, if you sign up today, I’ll offer you the EXCLUSIVE market rights to help free people from Younique, Herbalife, Infinitus and over 30 other household brands. That makes a market — just in America of of 20 million Americans! Doesn’t that sound great, Justin? If you captured just 1% of that, that’s 200,000. And that business would earn 1 million every MONTH.
All without products to store, all while helping people.
Will you be paying with a Visa or Mastercard?”
Justin paused for a moment. “This was a waste of my time,” he finally said.
“You don’t really have a business!” he spat.
Well done, Justin, well done indeed.
This post was originally published on a different medium account that Medium “helpfully” created for me when I signed in with the incorrect Google Account.
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